I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize