the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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