so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My cat gives me a boner
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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