worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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