Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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