Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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