every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
