you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
