He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
