One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
