Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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