Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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