Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
bring money and cleavage
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
