No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
