Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
