Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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