And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
