can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize