it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!