The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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