well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
