Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before

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(907): View more from Alaska

She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex

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(813): View more from Florida

It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(805): View more from California

100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.

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(269): View more from Michigan

P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.

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(850): View more from Florida

Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?

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