I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.