I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
At least life still wants to fuck me.