did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
