Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
