Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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