All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
