Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have aggressive nipples.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
