1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
