I wish I could punch you in the face.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
accomplished twins. life is a go
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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