redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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