like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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