But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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