I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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