So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
