he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
