The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
too bad you live with your parents still
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
