Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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