Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
