Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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