we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
