HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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