We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
