Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
