he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
