he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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