Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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