it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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