Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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