I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
