Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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