If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
