Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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