i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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