Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
