a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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