she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
