ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
