Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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