i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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