i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
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I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
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It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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