He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
