VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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