Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
