I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
