check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
