Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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