In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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