dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
