Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
