My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
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But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
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I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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