Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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